For this activity I had to choose a sentence out of three and end it. For full points I had to post 8 - 10 sentences.
I looked around and no one was there. It was my birthday and nothing seemed unusual. I thought my my friends were surprising me. I heard foot steps down stairs, I went and saw a shadow. I was freaking out. I went closer to the living room. Opened the door. " SURPRISE!! " It was my friends and family. I was so surprised and happy.
I looked around and no one was there. It was my birthday and nothing seemed unusual. I thought my my friends were surprising me. I heard foot steps down stairs, I went and saw a shadow. I was freaking out. I went closer to the living room. Opened the door. " SURPRISE!! " It was my friends and family. I was so surprised and happy.
Hi Mishaan,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Shanya from stonefields school. You're story was great. I liked how you have used some emotions in the story so that we can visualise the story more. great work!
Shanya:)
Kia ora Mishaan,
ReplyDeleteWe're so glad that you have been so active over the last couple of days in your Summer Learning Journey, and I'm hoping that you will keep up the awesome progress!
Part of our job here is to check out everyone's blogs, and comment on as many as we possibly can. We have seen some amazing work so far from so many students at Panmure Bridge, as well as other schools too! The most important thing is that every student gets to post original ideas and blogs that get to show what they are learning, or what ideas they would like to share with everyone.
Both Rachel and I have been learning so much from your blogs already, so I know that we would love to see a short story in your own words on your blog :-) if you could pop back on in the next day or two and have another go, we'll check back in shortly and give you some more feedback.
Cheers Mishaan!
Dan.